Everyone gets a trophy. This mindset is going to push me over the edge. I am NOT of the mindset that everybody gets a trophy. And, yes…there are two very different views on on this. I would be lying if I said my kids never received any of those “I showed up so I get a trophy”. Argh.
That drives me nuts.
If everybody received a trophy for just showing up, then what’s the point? Yay me. I showed up. Where is my reward? I went to class today. Don’t I get an A for being there? Ummm. No. Did you do the work? Did you know the material?
Finals this week. Argh. I feel like I’m in high school again stressing about finals. Never mind, I’ve already done this. I get to relive with my oldest son and my daughters in middle school. Such fun. Not really.
I always tell him, “Your looks will get you in the door. But, you better have something to back it up when you get there.” I despise laziness. Isn’t that the “everybody gets a trophy” mentality? Just show up, look pretty, stand there, and get rewarded by some $5 piece of plastic with “Pat” on top of it that will make you feel like a winner. For about 5 minutes. I call bullshit. A $5 piece of plastic made in China no doubt won’t make you feel better.
Hard work. Tenacity. Sweat. Being challenged. Solving a problem after long thought. Taking care of those who need it more than you. Those things make me feel like I have done something. To earn something. More intrinsic than extrinsic.
Call me crazy but I don’t want the molded piece of plastic made by children in a factory in the middle of hell (for them, at least) to make me feel better. I want to be rewarded for results. Results of my effort. My sweat. My tears. My resolve (ok…a bit Obama-ish). Whatever. You get the point. At least, I hope you do.
My youngest is obsessed with his hockey stats. Poor guy was upset last night when the other team didn’t have enough players to play the game and, thus, forfeited. It happens. So what? But to him, it meant that his goals and assists wouldn’t count in the team standings. So? Well, he wants to be number one. Huh? If his goals don’t count, he can’t better his position in the goal/assist standings in his league. Ummm…you’re 9. It doesn’t matter. To me, anyhow. But to him, it does matter. He works hard. Plays hard. Wants to be the best in his league. Wow. He was so upset that I couldn’t console him. Then it hit me. I can’t score those goals for him. I can’t skate on the ice for him. I can only watch him. Nothing I can do while he is on the ice. He wants this. He has such internal drive that even the slightest issue can put him in a tailspin. I can do my damnedest to put all this in perspective. It’s just house league. More hockey to come. But not to him. This is it for him. For now, at least. He wants to be the best. On his own accord.
He doesn’t want a trophy handed to him for showing up. He wants to earn it. He gets it. Nine and he gets it. He is a bit over the top but he gets it.
The same holds true for my girls. My younger daughter doesn’t test well. Because of this, she failed one of her classes and, thus, failed the 9 week term. No basketball for her. Or me. After much pain and with the help of her dedicated teacher and coach, she finally passed her class. Thank you to Mrs. Hansen for going above and beyond for her. We need more teachers like her.
It was painful to watch her sit in the stands while all of her teammates were on the court. First game back and she earns MVP. Proud mama here! 13 kids on the team and only two of them gets (I mean EARNS) MVP.
What would it mean if they all got MVP? Nothing. What does it mean to Emma that she earned the MVP? Everything.
So, why do we insist on everybody getting a trophy? If that’s the case, then let’s call it what it is. Here is your “Thank you for showing up award.”
