Let me be very clear. I am NOT for sale. And yes. That is an Olan Mills portrait. You remember those? You couldn’t hit more 80’s than that! Oh, that horrid fake bookshelf background. No comments on my wings nor the poorly tied bow I’m wearing. It’s embarrassing enough. Truth be told, everything in that picture is fake. The picture is even missing my older brother. Who takes a “family” pic without all your children there? Wouldn’t you rather have a pic of you and your 4 kids? Not my mother. Gotta have “him” in it. A false representation of a true reality. Makes you wonder why the root word of reality is real. Ain’t nothing real about that picture!! Even the reality shows of today are all partially scripted. So much for being real. But, hey, real doesn’t exactly make tv ratings go up.
Not just reality stars on television. This town is full of “real” people. Knowing what I know about some marriages in this town, I may scream if I see one more post on Facebook about how happy they are. As I’ve said many times, people are so full of it. Whatever. No wonder their kids are so messed up. Not my job to call out your BS. If you don’t have the balls to do it, why should I bother? Another eye roll.
Back to the picture in today’s rant. Yes. That’s the dead child molester. Bummer he’s no longer here. Handsome guy, no? Ummm…no. But my mother was attractive. Even with her football helmet hairdo that Sally Field wore in “Steel Magnolias.” How does a guy get a girl like that? Ahhh….Money. Or, at least, more than she ever made. Ok. I’m being shallow. I get it. Looks aren’t everything. I dated a surgeon who wasn’t exactly attractive. But he was smart. And, intelligence can be a bit of an aphrodisiac. Nonetheless. Not the point I’m making here.
Sadly, my mother was for sale to the highest bidder. After two failed marriages AFTER my father left her (one doesn’t make smart decisions when abandoned at 28 with 4 children in tow and one of them is a newborn-yep-that would be me), she was desperate. Clearly.
Parts of me gets it. I’ve dated more than I care to mention. Dating is not fun. It’s a damn interview process. I’d rather put a needle in my eye than go on one more pathetic “Match” date. A complete roll of the dice. And, I am crapping out.
So, what did my mother get for her desperation? A corpulent pedophile with a bad comb over. Oh…and a decent salary. And a “family.” He was able to take her to fancy dinners and a vacation twice a year with just the 2 of them.
Lucky her.
Not me. I aspire for more. Nothing like a childhood filled with shit to make one want for more. I learned a valuable lesson at a very young age.
DON’T EVER SETTLE.
You want someone to take care of you? With their rules? Or do you want to take care of yourself? You’ve seen the photo of the hot woman with the elderly, unattractive, and obese man? One version quotes, “See son? Stay in school and study. And this will be your reward later in life.” The other caption addressing the woman, “See what happens when you don’t stay in school? This is what you’ll end up with.” Clearly, gross generalizations but the point is made.
I’m not for sale. I worked my ass off. I made all A’s. I did the hard work. I got out of college in 4 years and then I worked. Hard. I paid my dues. I was smart. I took risks. I worked and worked. Nobody did it for me. No way would I end up like my mother. Backed into a corner so anyone with a paycheck and a heartbeat would take care of me.
I see so many women in my town that will settle. Why? Because they won’t (or can’t) do it for themselves? They want someone to take care of them. No thanks. Sure, the company of a significant other is comforting. But, at what cost? Why the hell would I ever settle? And why would you?
Are you for sell?
Have some pride. Be that woman who is smart. Attractive. Hard working. And, most importantly, not for sale. I’m not. Thank God for a brain, a good work ethic, and the patience to not let just anyone in. I’m worth it. And, so are you. Dating is one thing. Marriage is another. Don’t be so hasty. Date. Try not to get your heart broken. But, seriously, think before you actually commit.
I’m aiming for an equal partner in life. I am not for sale.
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