Breathe…ok…scream… Then BREATHE
The runway. The rain. The planes. 28th in line for take off. One departure every 3 minutes. The armrest. Who makes the rules on shared armrest? Who died so that you could inherit that damn thing for the entire flight?
Ok…let’s do the math here. That’s an hour and half sitting on the runway. Nowhere to go. Just sitting. With my thoughts. Anticipating the upcoming weekend.
Life. Sitting. Waiting. Knowing what’s to come but you can’t move. All you can do is breathe. Wiggle your toes. No room to move anything else. I want to scream. If I could just stand up and do some downward dog. Who cares if they stare. Rigor mortis is starting to set in. Must get up and move. Can’t. I’m trapped. Against my will…ok… Not totally but certainly uncomfortable in situations where I have no control. One abused at such a young age is NOT comfortable not being in control.
So I open my People (gotta catch up with my celebrity gossip reading). No judgment, please. It’s not like it’s US magazine. At least People has articles. With actual words and not just mere photos.
Of course the Kennedy’s catch my eye. Always fascinated by that family. More tragedy in that family than mine. Well… Certainly a different a kind of tragedy. Kudos to Patrick Kennedy, son of Teddy, for coming out and having the courage to openly talk about his family’s addictions and mental illness. Not just that of his parents but his. He could never talk about it growing up. I feel his pain. I could never talk about it either.
My family was just another cog in the wheel. “Known” only by a few. Unlike the Kennedy’s. The portrayal of “Camelot”. Whatever that means. Perfection? We should all strive to be them? Now…50 years later and the truth comes out. My question is, “Why do we all have to be told to keep it all a secret? Forcing us to deal with their abuse as we become adults? All the while fighting our own addictions. Self medicate. Check. Binge drinker. Check. Binge smoker. Check. Somewhere along the way we acquired these addictions numbing the pain they caused us.” Fuck. What a vicious cycle. How does it end? Will it ever end? Who has the courage to stop the cycle?
Ironically enough, his father gave him a book, “The Enemy Within.” He knew his own demons but never discussed them. Had the wisdom to share with his son that he possessed similar demons. Knowing it. Sharing it. But never divulging it. Passing on the family torch. After all his struggles, he chose another route. To share it with everyone in his book, “A Common Struggle .”
America’s royalty is just as common as we are. 25% of us anyway.
Finally. Someone from within willing to know, share and divulge the commonality in all of us. Share the addictions we have. Bring forth the enemy within all of us.
Do you have the courage to share your demon? To take control of him instead of him controlling you? To finally set him free? More importantly, set you free…
